|
|
Post by artistlily on Dec 17, 2009 6:45:36 GMT
"ITS NOT SO BAD! just i struggle a bit on the line between being romantic or 'playing it cool' .."
Costal, at the risk of sounding like a weird old auntie, I have to tell you.....if you keep being yourself, which I can only glimpse at obviously, but you seem funny, caring and smart .... you will be fine.
None of us should change ourselves too much or try too hard, or it stops being real, eh? xx
|
|
|
|
Post by trubble on Dec 17, 2009 8:13:31 GMT
I have to laugh at your story, Riot, it rang a bell with me, my teenage sweetheart was that way inclined but not quite so extreme. I'm not sure there is anyone quite as extreme as your ex! Very true. Or they become background noise. My teenage sweetheart used to track me down on the way home from school to surprise me with chocolates or flowers. I mean track me down because I would vary my route home to avoid it. I vividly recall trying to avoid it and the shock of being surprised in a back alley by a bunch of carnations on a bike. Valentine's Day was about arriving home to see bunches and bunches of flowers littering the front room and a huge card saying 'I love you' to which one could only reply 'yes, I bloody know'.  I loved him too and had hunted him down like the gorgeous bloke he was because I saw how he treated women and wanted some of the action - but when you have it, it's a bit overwhelming. I just think to myself how lucky I was to get all that over and done with in my teens so that I would never pine for it. The claddagh ring, the necklace with both our names engraved on the pendant, the huge cards, the little love notes he used to hide in my bag or enlist my friends to deliver at school, the Ferrero Rocher - my sisters used to ask when was he coming round because they were hoping for Ferrero Rocher. He was actually really lovely and not psycho like yours and we were together for two years but as time went on I treated him more and more like dirt. It's not our fault, Riot, they make us into bitches and then complain about it. A more grown up boyfriend once did something 'romantic' that I had to pretend I enjoyed. Valentine's Day again - it really is the pits - and as I was walking home I bumped into a flower deliverer with a huge expensive bouquet who asked me for directions but not to my house, to my neighbour's, oh well, and after he delivered them, he ran after me and gave me a red rose for my trouble - wasn't that sweet? I don't mind charity, I like it. So I trundled into my front door feeling all feel-good and discovered a boyfriend that I hadn't been expecting, and a lunch and little paper hearts hanging everywhere, and champagne and ... well it should have been lovely, I appreciated the effort and all, but it didn't mean anything to me in itself, who wants champagne for lunch really? Worse - I hadn't been expecting him and hadn't even got him a card so I had to hand over my rose and pretend I got it for him.  And then I had to spend my lunchtime admiring all his efforts and thanking him profusely instead of slouching in a comfy chair eating Supernoodles and watching Neighbours. I have done a little research for you all amongst my sisters. We all agree the most sexy thing - the thing that elicits romantic feelings from us - is when a man does something neighbourly and community spirited, like push strangers' cars out of snow drifts, or tell someone off for being mean to their dog, or stand up for the old lady next door when the kids are playing knick-knack etc. When they are proper heroes and knights in shining armour, in fact, not just romantic leads. Yes, Patrick! I hear you but this is on bloody topic. Everything I will write in this thread is on topic. I AM a vegetarian. |
|
|
|
Post by Patrick on Dec 17, 2009 8:41:42 GMT
Yes, Patrick! I hear you but this is on bloody topic. Everything I will write in this thread is on topic. I AM a vegetarian. Oi! That was Costal! See! Blamed for bloomin everything me! anyway, we're supppose to be talking about vegetables...  Anyway. Ladies. All this romantic stuff - it never lasts (unless you have got a psycho of course!) It doesn't take long before you're sitting at either end of the room doing your own thing, happily ignoring each other with only the occasional rumbling of "Yes Dear" as you pretend to listen to whatever they're going on about, as you sink happily into a world of togetherness that includes tolerating each other's farts and going and sleeping in the back room without a thought if you open the marital bedroom door to be faced by a barrage of snores! Romance! Pah! |
|
|
|
Post by everso on Dec 17, 2009 9:19:35 GMT
I agree 100%. Also, when Mr. E. is doing manly things, that, to me, is the best turn on. I know in my heart of hearts that if we were shipwrecked on a desert island I could trust him to build a shelter and protect me from things dangerous.
Romantic gestures are a bit creepy. And another thing: the single rose? Forget it guys. It either looks cheesy, or else too mean to buy a whole bunch. Sorry and all that, but you've been duped by t.v. and films.
|
|
|
|
Post by Patrick on Dec 17, 2009 9:44:15 GMT
My favourite romantic gesture? I once bought my girlfriend a single flower. Well, slight mispelling there... I once bought my girlfriend a single packet of flour to which I'd added an 's' to the end, so I could say "I've bought you some flour(s)"  |
|
|
|
Post by aubrey on Dec 17, 2009 10:21:44 GMT
We've all been duped by tv and films and pop songs (Frank Zappa said that this was the real obscenity about pop music, not the kind of stuff he did - telling kids lies about what they could expect in their future life. The stuff he wrote might have been blunt, but it was realistic - loveless sex which is usually negotiated and even then turns out to be a failure. He did believe in love, but not the way it is portrayed in pop songs.)
And the thing about men only being interested in one thing is not true either. Surely it's somewhere in between?
|
|
|
|
Post by trubble on Dec 17, 2009 11:36:00 GMT
Oh I dunno. Sometimes songs get it 100% right but usually only when you are in the middle of infatuation, not the actual relationship where the love is better but less flowery and too deep to be described as love you forever, forsaking you never, ooh ooh baby. I am glad to say that I've had much more experience of romantic sex than negotiating loveless stuff. What's the point in that .f.f.s? So that stuff does not ring true for me.
The red rose is a myth, it just looks contrived. Mind you, I'd rather that than a packet of flour. If someone gave me a packet of flour, I'd offer them some thank you hot crumpet and then make crumpets with the flour for a ''joke''. That should sort them out. If it didn't I'd suggest going upstairs for a bit of slap & tickle and then when I got there, I'd slap them. If that didn't make the point, I'd offer to go for a drive and some 'How's your father' in the back seat and then I'd drive them to their father's house, put him in the back seat and question him on his recent bowel problems.
|
|
|
|
Post by Patrick on Dec 17, 2009 12:14:18 GMT
Wasted I am on some people!  Anyway! It was legit - they were a packet of flourS I put the S on myself! - and anyway - all that would have been required was a "You daft sod" and a happy smile! Certainly not a sarcastic crumpet! It's cruel to crumpets for a start! Pah! some folk just don't know the meaning of Hoppernomics  |
|
|
|
Post by riotgrrl on Dec 17, 2009 12:40:39 GMT
I agree with Everso about what is really romantic in a man.
And I'll add this; I'll tell you what REALLY makes a man sexy. Boys, pay attention.
It's got nothing to do with aftershave, a cool haircut, anything like that.
The absolute sexiest thing a man can do is to do something - anything - really well and with passion, whether it's driving a car or playing a sport. To see a man do something he is really good at and is really committed to is just about the sexiest thing in the world.
|
|
|
|
Post by riotgrrl on Dec 17, 2009 12:44:04 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by Patrick on Dec 17, 2009 12:44:19 GMT
That's me done for then!  ........does running a message board count?  |
|
|
|
Post by everso on Dec 17, 2009 17:20:52 GMT
Yes.
|
|
|
|
Post by everso on Dec 17, 2009 17:26:04 GMT
My favourite romantic gesture? I once bought my girlfriend a single flower. Well, slight mispelling there... I once bought my girlfriend a single packet of flour to which I'd added an 's' to the end, so I could say "I've bought you some flour(s)" Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling. Take celibacy. This can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by environmental factors. While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Tom and Mary listened to the instructor declare:
"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the men.
"Can you each name and describe your wife's favourite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched Mary's arm gently and whispered, "Self-raising, isn't it?"Thus began Tom's life of celibacy. |
|
|
|
Post by Patrick on Dec 17, 2009 17:30:24 GMT
I must have made the right choice of young lady then - who took the 'flour-s' in the spirit with which they were givern!  |
|
|
|
Post by Patrick on Dec 17, 2009 17:35:38 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by Patrick on Dec 17, 2009 17:37:31 GMT
I'm beginning to notice a pattern y'know. Various discussions on topics completely different keep swerving back to relationships between men and women!
Own up! Who is it? C'mon!?
|
|
|
|
Post by aubrey on Dec 17, 2009 17:45:47 GMT
Crumpets are good. Not as good as Pikelets, though.
I think pop songs are good for the moment, but nothing more. FZ's sex songs are usually about people trying - and failing - to get sex: or maybe succeeding, but no good coming of it ("Why does it hurt when I pee?"). He was cynical enough to realise that a lot of pop love songs are really sex songs, in code ("Kiss" usually means more than just kiss; "I want to hold your hand" means more than holding your hand, etc).
"Loveless sex is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's pretty good" (or something like that.)
|
|
|
|
Post by Patrick on Dec 17, 2009 17:54:06 GMT
Bryan Adams! Now there's a fellow who permanently seems to be singing about his inability to get off with anyone! |
|
|
|
Post by artistlily on Dec 17, 2009 20:31:07 GMT
Oh crikey, Brian Adams whingeing his head off, now that is a big turn off!!! Run to me when it all gets too much? Forget that, buddy!!! I have children, I don't want another one!!!  Patrick, you are a funny guy. YOu are ninety percent there. Just make sure you don't have BO or wear nylon undies and you will be home and hosed. Oh, and kindness to animals. |
|
|
|
Post by Patrick on Dec 17, 2009 22:19:39 GMT
Oh crikey, Brian Adams whingeing his head off, now that is a big turn off!!! So glad I'm not the only one! ;D |
|
A.P.P.S
S C 
