Rape of a copper

[everso]

I saw this on Facebook.

www.guardian.co.uk/global/2011/apr/04/raped-policeman-colleagues-investigation

It seems this policeman now looks at rape, and the victims of rape, in a different way.

[aubrey]

Yes, it was a good piece.

[housesparrow]

It was a fascinating piece. I was struck in particular with this:

I had decided I didn't want to report what had happened to the police. I knew they would do a wonderful job investigating but I was thinking ahead to the trial, with me in court as the victim. I knew that anonymity at work would be impossible. Of course everyone would be sympathetic but they'd treat me differently. How could I sit there with colleagues, trying to be objective about someone else's rape if they were saying "Are you OK?" the whole time?

I'm appalled that the police didn't allow him the same courtesy they allowed other victims, and just pushed ahead with the investigation.

[bonbonlarue]

So sad...but I'm glad he's told his story. unfortunately everybody these days insists on 'counselling' but I believe that's just wallowing and making things worse.

Take a deep breath, pull up your dignity and put things behind you... I do wish him well, for all the bad press, coppers have a rotten job at the best of times...

[housesparrow]

Agree, bonbon.

For somereason some bits got deleted before I posted my last post: I meant to say that although some women's groups blame the police for the low reporting rate, I suspect that the real reason has nothing to do with that.

[everso]

Sometimes it's a huge step to actually speak to anyone about it. I used to work on a telephone rape & sexual abuse crisis line and women would phone us and it would probably be several calls before they could actually tell their story.

Everybody is different, but often somebody who's detached from the person (i.e. not a friend or relative) is what is needed, so I wouldn't necessary dismiss counselling for rape or sexual abuse. It's usually too painful to tell those close to you what happened and sometimes once the victim has got to the stage where they can discuss what happened to them, they then have a need to talk it through several times - something that is difficult to hear for their nearest and dearest.

People who've suffered sexual abuse quite often blame themselves (usually because they've been told by their attacker that it IS their fault). Also it's not always reported to the police because their attacker is a family member or friend.

In this man's case, I can well understand how he must have felt, especially since he'd told his colleague in a confidential manner.

[sesley]

I think that the public forget that police are human too,with the same human emotions and reactions.