Post by swl on Mar 21, 2009 16:39:03 GMT
Five Go Off On An Adventure
Alpha, Rob, Everso, Riot and Pat the Dog uncover a plot to distribute DVDs of Mass Detraction
Chapter One
The sun crept warily over the hills surrounding the groggy idyll of Stub Crouch. A morning dew glistened on the grass around the rustic cottages as the sleeping inhabitants slumbered sleepily. Bluebirds swooped and banked through the trees, feeding on the swarms of mutant insects from the nearby nuclear waste processing site. They twittered gleefully as they fed, collecting beak-full’s for their nesting chicks. Occasionally a bird would come to rest on a fence post and throw up green phlegm. The other birds; sparrows, finches, woodpeckers, thrushes and a Red Cardinal on holiday squawked and sang encouragement from the trees. A group of deer moved through the woods, grazing on the buttercups and bluebells. One hind stopped to nuzzle her fawn lovingly. The young deer had stopped to watch a beetle making its way home through the grass. The hind licked at the fawn’s ears, scolding it for holding up the herd. As the fawn looked up at the limpid brown eyes of its mother, it saw a red dot hovering between the hind’s eyes. Even as the fawn tried to focus on the dot, the hind’s head exploded in a spray of blood, brains, antlers and lumpy bits.
“Gercha” said Alpha, emerging from a nearby bush and shouldering his .50 Barrett sniper’s rifle with modified stock. Using his K-Bar combat knife and occasionally his teeth, Alpha soon had the deer neatly stacked into brown paper packages marked “Steaks”, “Mince” and “Sausages”. These he placed in his Bergen, first double-wrapping the plastic explosives already in there to avoid tainting the meat. He hefted the rucksack onto his back and strode into Stub Crouch, whistling and picking bits of carcass from his teeth.
Back at the house, Everso was stretching luxuriantly in her four poster bed. Her deaf mute husband, Mr E, snored silently on beside her.
“Oh what a beautiful morning” she sang as she slipped gracefully from the feather eiderdowns and tiptoed daintily past the scattered dildos, strap-ons, chains, gimp masks and harnesses from the previous night’s entertainment. For a moment, a puzzled frown crossed her elegant and amazingly intact make-up. “Oopsy”. Everso giggled a little as, raising one sheer-stockinged leg onto the velour chaise, she extracted the love-eggs and tossed them into the steriliser. “Everso forgetful” she trilled before skipping into the Italian marble shower suite to begin the task of being beautiful once again for a whole new day.
As Everso turned on the shower, a warning alarm sounded in Rob’s room announcing the slight drop in water pressure. Instantly, monitoring systems detected the change and instructed back-up pumps to initiate, keeping the flow of cooling liquid constant around the stainless steel tank. But, at the almost inaudible change in tone of the racks of computers and environmental systems, Rob’s eyelids flickered open. First the outer sheaths slid easily into the recesses at the sides before the inner membranes irised outwards to reveal the light processing units. The smooth, hairless body trembled a little in the tank of clear jelly. Rob’s ICU sent instructions racing across synapses to still the deviant muscle spasms. Within seconds, the trembling stopped and only the slow rise & fall of his half-submerged torso betrayed any sign of life. For a few seconds there was silence, broken only by the soft glutinous “pop” of bubbles breaking the surface of the life-preserving gel as Rob slowly farted.
“Computer” barked Rob. On one side of the room a bank of lights burst into a kaleidoscope of motion. “Mobility Unit”. A panel slid back from one wall and a sleek inverted dustbin-like device rolled silently out. At the same time, pumps started drawing out the fluid from the tank and a small winch in the ceiling lowered two grapples to anchor points in Rob’s shoulders. Locating automatically, they raised Rob’s smooth, hairless, legless torso out of the tank before manoeuvring him over the mobile unit and lowering him into it. Almost before the various clamps and tubes had engaged, Rob barked another command, “Kitchen”. Smoothly the mobility unit rolled across the room and through the sliding doors before bumping and clattering down the stairs.
“Hiya Rob me old mucker” said Alpha. He was sitting at the breakfast table, his muddy paratrooper’s boots resting on the toast rack as he shaved in the reflection of his dog tags with a rusty bayonet.
“Woof” said Pat the Dog from the Aga, where he was rustling up a hearty breakfast of eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes and venison sausages. “Woof Woof Woof?”
“I’m sure I heard her going into the shower” replied Rob
“Woof Woof Woof Woof-Woof” said Pat the Dog
“Lovely” said Rob. “I like them fresh. Just the one today Alpha?”
Alpha belched, “Yeah. The rest scarpered at the shot. The fawn’s still there, trying to get mummy to wake up, but there’s no eating on a fawn”.
“Good Morning, Good Morning one and all” said Everso as she swept into the kitchen, a radiant vision of white fluffiness in a huge towelling robe and fluffy shower cap with plastic flowers.
“Woof Woof Woof Woof Woofity”
“Absolutely not!” said Everso. “No quickies for you so you can put that lipstick away. I’m Everso shocked at the suggestion”
Alpha growled at Pat the Dog.
“Woof”
“Good” said Rob. “Has anyone seen Riot?”
At the mention of the Glaswegian terror, the birds fell silent outside, a dark cloud slid in front of the sun and a chill darkness descended. Everso’s smile became a little strained, Alpha swept his muddy feet from the table, straightening in his chair and Pat the Dog’s lipstick disappeared.
Alpha, Rob, Everso, Riot and Pat the Dog uncover a plot to distribute DVDs of Mass Detraction
Chapter One
The sun crept warily over the hills surrounding the groggy idyll of Stub Crouch. A morning dew glistened on the grass around the rustic cottages as the sleeping inhabitants slumbered sleepily. Bluebirds swooped and banked through the trees, feeding on the swarms of mutant insects from the nearby nuclear waste processing site. They twittered gleefully as they fed, collecting beak-full’s for their nesting chicks. Occasionally a bird would come to rest on a fence post and throw up green phlegm. The other birds; sparrows, finches, woodpeckers, thrushes and a Red Cardinal on holiday squawked and sang encouragement from the trees. A group of deer moved through the woods, grazing on the buttercups and bluebells. One hind stopped to nuzzle her fawn lovingly. The young deer had stopped to watch a beetle making its way home through the grass. The hind licked at the fawn’s ears, scolding it for holding up the herd. As the fawn looked up at the limpid brown eyes of its mother, it saw a red dot hovering between the hind’s eyes. Even as the fawn tried to focus on the dot, the hind’s head exploded in a spray of blood, brains, antlers and lumpy bits.
“Gercha” said Alpha, emerging from a nearby bush and shouldering his .50 Barrett sniper’s rifle with modified stock. Using his K-Bar combat knife and occasionally his teeth, Alpha soon had the deer neatly stacked into brown paper packages marked “Steaks”, “Mince” and “Sausages”. These he placed in his Bergen, first double-wrapping the plastic explosives already in there to avoid tainting the meat. He hefted the rucksack onto his back and strode into Stub Crouch, whistling and picking bits of carcass from his teeth.
Back at the house, Everso was stretching luxuriantly in her four poster bed. Her deaf mute husband, Mr E, snored silently on beside her.
“Oh what a beautiful morning” she sang as she slipped gracefully from the feather eiderdowns and tiptoed daintily past the scattered dildos, strap-ons, chains, gimp masks and harnesses from the previous night’s entertainment. For a moment, a puzzled frown crossed her elegant and amazingly intact make-up. “Oopsy”. Everso giggled a little as, raising one sheer-stockinged leg onto the velour chaise, she extracted the love-eggs and tossed them into the steriliser. “Everso forgetful” she trilled before skipping into the Italian marble shower suite to begin the task of being beautiful once again for a whole new day.
As Everso turned on the shower, a warning alarm sounded in Rob’s room announcing the slight drop in water pressure. Instantly, monitoring systems detected the change and instructed back-up pumps to initiate, keeping the flow of cooling liquid constant around the stainless steel tank. But, at the almost inaudible change in tone of the racks of computers and environmental systems, Rob’s eyelids flickered open. First the outer sheaths slid easily into the recesses at the sides before the inner membranes irised outwards to reveal the light processing units. The smooth, hairless body trembled a little in the tank of clear jelly. Rob’s ICU sent instructions racing across synapses to still the deviant muscle spasms. Within seconds, the trembling stopped and only the slow rise & fall of his half-submerged torso betrayed any sign of life. For a few seconds there was silence, broken only by the soft glutinous “pop” of bubbles breaking the surface of the life-preserving gel as Rob slowly farted.
“Computer” barked Rob. On one side of the room a bank of lights burst into a kaleidoscope of motion. “Mobility Unit”. A panel slid back from one wall and a sleek inverted dustbin-like device rolled silently out. At the same time, pumps started drawing out the fluid from the tank and a small winch in the ceiling lowered two grapples to anchor points in Rob’s shoulders. Locating automatically, they raised Rob’s smooth, hairless, legless torso out of the tank before manoeuvring him over the mobile unit and lowering him into it. Almost before the various clamps and tubes had engaged, Rob barked another command, “Kitchen”. Smoothly the mobility unit rolled across the room and through the sliding doors before bumping and clattering down the stairs.
“Hiya Rob me old mucker” said Alpha. He was sitting at the breakfast table, his muddy paratrooper’s boots resting on the toast rack as he shaved in the reflection of his dog tags with a rusty bayonet.
“Woof” said Pat the Dog from the Aga, where he was rustling up a hearty breakfast of eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes and venison sausages. “Woof Woof Woof?”
“I’m sure I heard her going into the shower” replied Rob
“Woof Woof Woof Woof-Woof” said Pat the Dog
“Lovely” said Rob. “I like them fresh. Just the one today Alpha?”
Alpha belched, “Yeah. The rest scarpered at the shot. The fawn’s still there, trying to get mummy to wake up, but there’s no eating on a fawn”.
“Good Morning, Good Morning one and all” said Everso as she swept into the kitchen, a radiant vision of white fluffiness in a huge towelling robe and fluffy shower cap with plastic flowers.
“Woof Woof Woof Woof Woofity”
“Absolutely not!” said Everso. “No quickies for you so you can put that lipstick away. I’m Everso shocked at the suggestion”
Alpha growled at Pat the Dog.
“Woof”
“Good” said Rob. “Has anyone seen Riot?”
At the mention of the Glaswegian terror, the birds fell silent outside, a dark cloud slid in front of the sun and a chill darkness descended. Everso’s smile became a little strained, Alpha swept his muddy feet from the table, straightening in his chair and Pat the Dog’s lipstick disappeared.