Scots Down More Spirits!

[Patrick]

The Beeb missed a trick with this one - at the punning risk of incorrect and uforgivable spelling - a beautiful headline would be "Scotch Drinkers Down More Spirits!" ;D

Anyway, "People in Scotland drank almost two litres more pure alcohol last year than those living in other parts of Britain, according to new research."

"They showed an average Scot over the age of 16 consumed 11.8 litres compared to 9.9 litres in England and Wales.

The higher level north of the border was due to the fact that Scots drinkers consumed more spirits.

In total, almost eight million more litres of pure alcohol were consumed in Scotland in 2007. "

(........and in a typical reaction): "Dr Bruce Ritson, chairman of Shaap, said the figures underlined the need for urgent action and declared the organisation's support for Scottish ministers' plans.

He said: "What these figures reinforce is the need to act now to reduce overall alcohol consumption in Scotland.

"The most effective and efficient means of reducing the demand for alcohol are to regulate price and availability."

I tell you, before long they're going to start banning it!

[markindurham]

Smoke and mirrors, or knee-jerk reaction

Whichever, I can't see it happening. Sure vote-loser amongst the proles...

[trubble]

What the hell is so wrong with alcohol? It's a lifestyle choice for most people and we love it. Stupid interfering regulating bodies.

[markindurham]

Sept 26, 2008 20:22:50 GMT trubble said:

What the hell is so wrong with alcohol? It's a lifestyle choice for most people and we love it. Stupid interfering regulating bodies.

Well said, trubble

[Patrick]

I've said it before - but this is cause and effect? Instead of a Government saying "Thou shalt not" all the time - wouldn't it be so much healthier to try and find out the reason why Folk are drinking so much and are "unhappy" enough to want to do so? Sure, there is the element of (in the words of a politicianl) "Youthful Exuberance" - but if those in power set out to listen to folk and find out why they are unhappy - and try to redress the balance? It would plant the seeds of a better world?

A remarkably silly thought though that Government's will go against the will of Big Business and Finance companies to keep the plebs where they can control them!

[Alpha Hooligan]

Scots Down More Spirits!

Well, RG is on holiday for a few days...what do you expect?

Good time for the distilleries I suspect...hash dealer Bob is also looking at a good weekend. ;D


AH

[Patrick]

Shocking isn't it - there I am seeking out the juicy stories from North of the Border - and not a word from our "on the spot" correspondent!

[riotgrrl]

Of course we drink more spirits.

1 - We make them.
2 - We're not a bunch of shandy-drinking Saffern pooftahs!

Hardly rocket science!!!

Anyway, if we didn't get really, really pished we wouldn't have the heart to keep on stabbing and murdering each other properly.

[riotgrrl]

Seriously though, it's a cultural thing.

If I visited your Dad he might offer me a glass of wine.

If you visited my Dad he'd offer you a whisky.

[Alpha Hooligan]

I don't like Whiskey, would your dad offer me an alternative beverage? Vodka or Cognac would be great...failing that, a nice mug of tea will do the trick.


AH

[riotgrrl]

Sept 27, 2008 14:13:44 GMT Alpha Hooligan said:

I don't like Whiskey, would your dad offer me an alternative beverage? Vodka or Cognac would be great...failing that, a nice mug of tea will do the trick.


AH

Alpha that's whisky . . no e. We're talking the Scottish stuff, not the Irish poteen.

And no, he wouldn't offer you Vodka, on account of that being a woman's drink.

And no, he wouldn't offer you Cognac, on account of that being a soft Saffern pooftah type drink.

Best bet would be to claim to be driving, and you'll get away with drinking a cup of tea without anyone doubting your masculinity.

[Alpha Hooligan]

Hmm, I'd probably slug down the whisky (no e) to be polite, I'd just have to make an "eeyurg" face when his back was turned.

I really don't like it though, and I do the maddest baddest things when I get drunk on that stuff...including booting over a huge motorbike and kicking a wheelchair across the street (according to my friends). I don't actually remember doing these things...it's that bad!

Oh, and my uncle also witnessed myself and my cousin (his son) trying to dismantle a bus shelter once after a whisky sesh, he chose to drive past and leave us to it because he didn't wish to be associated with us.


AH

[Patrick]

I wonder what the true figure for Wales was? Being tied in with England must have "watered down" their totals I reckon - cos if there was a bunch of drunks - then the Welsh have it!

I expect the ultra-religious tee-total parts levelled that off!

Fancy Alpha being a Hooligan! Who'd have thought it eh?

So it's all round to RG's Dad's then..................

[Patrick]

Talking of North of the border - I see the invasion has begun!


"A "Welcome to Scotland" sign has been erected outside an English city as part of an outdoor art festival in Cumbria.

Motorists on the M6 can view the sign as they approach the border city of Carlisle, which was once part of Scotland.

The Carlisle Artists' Hub has created the sign to stir up a "fun debate" about the area's true loyalties."

Just think - if this was Russia - we'd have carpet bombed Dumfries for that! Even if it was a joke!

[riotgrrl]

Carpet bomb Dumfries if you like - it's a shithole in the middle of nowhere.

But be careful . . you English will come to regret that decision to base the nukes in Scotland so that we (rather than you) would be the top USSR target. That decision (that Scottish lifes were more disposable than English ones) will come back to haunt you.

It's our tartan-clad, haggis-stained finger on the button now. And we hate your stiff upper lips, and your afternoon teas, and your old maids on bicycles going to Evensong.

[Alpha Hooligan]

LOL, you fell for that? We told you and the Russians that you had all of our nukes just to take the heat off ourselves (quite literally).

Our nukes are scattered around England in safe places, we just thought that if Russia concentrated on turning Jockland into a glass car park, we would have time to launch a massive counter attack.

Oh, and if your haggis stained fingers do push the button, you will be rewarded with large St George Crosses raining down on Scotland for a few centuries...like a nuclear winter, but far more devasting.


AH

[sesley]

if they have used statisitcs north of the border then how can that be right since England is more populated than Scotland. and why don't they get their stats right from the London clublands where drunken celebs get photographed staggering about all the time

[Alpha Hooligan]

Sept 29, 2008 14:39:33 GMT sesley said:

if they have used statisitcs north of the border then how can that be right since England is more populated than Scotland. and why don't they get their stats right from the London clublands where drunken celebs get photographed staggering about all the time

Sesley, they probably mean "per head" I.E. English individuals drink 1 litre of spirits per day, Scotts individuals drink 2 litres of spirits per day.

Let's face it, the "British" are the best drinkers in the world!!!

Oh, and those 'slebs are probaly guzzling champers and tons of cocaine


AH

[Alpha Hooligan]

And the Paddies probably neck a few gallons of Guinness every day...don't know about the Welsh, they probably drink coal juice or something...


AH

[Patrick]

Sept 29, 2008 14:57:35 GMT Alpha Hooligan said:

...don't know about the Welsh, they probably drink coal juice or something...


AH

and hitting themselves over the head with sheeps intestines - that sort of thing! ;D