Horrific

[tarzanontarmazepam]

Someone just sent me this clip from the Jeremy Kyle Show..



The great British education system eh? And these people must be in their forties.

Good grief!

[riotgrrl]

I used to love Jeremy Kyle, but I watched it every day while I was off sick and I got bored with it. People are bad and stupid in very similar ways. There is no original sin.

I honestly don't understand why the lure of 'being on telly' is so great that people are willing to discuss their most private failings in this way.

This is quite a good clip as things go. Most of them are dull; inarticulate people unsure of the parentage of their children. And there seems to be an inexhaustible supply of them.

[Deleted]

i had the misfortune to be forced to go onto a course for unemployed people the other day. Gawd i need a job desperately.. if only to keep me away from the jeremy kyle fodder types i was forced to mingle with on this course. There was a mum of 4 who made no bones about the fact that she loves taking speed and weed and happily claimed she had no intention of finding work whatsoever, and another chap who was just like that bloke off the fast show 'I'll nick anythink me, i'm a little bit WEEYYYY, a little bit WOOOHHHH'.. he happily admitted he had been unemployed for 20 years (!!!!!!) and during that time had supplemented his benefits by being a theif. is that how you spell theif? it looks wrong. there was also a man there who was the spitting image of frank spencer. in looks and personality.

[Deleted]

on the course, btw, i had to do some tests, there was a literacy test that featured the following qwuestion and many similar ones:
Fill in the blank with a word from the options provided:

___________ are expensive to buy.
clouds, flowers, houses, newspapers.

there was also a numeracy test that was along the lines of

7 + __ = 10.
~EEEK~

[trubble]

Wow. Obviously it's clouds. I can't even begin to guess how much you'd have to pay to get one. Or where you'd keep it.

[Deleted]

clouds are free, silly.

[Patrick]

Yes! All you have to do is lasoo them, pull them down and they'll let you ride on them! That's what Moomintroll did.

[Deleted]

or, you can summon the clouds by swishing yer fingers around in a peculiar fashion, like Monkey, and then they let you ride them .

[motorist]

You have to pluck some of your hair before swishing, of course, and the cloud is pink

[aubrey]

Expensive to buy in relation to what? Seriously, it could have been any of them, except clouds I suppose. Flowers are a lot, for what you get. Newspapers are a hell of a lot more than they used to be; and you could also buy something good instead. Houses are expensive, but in Hull they're supposed to be quite cheap. I hate that kind of question. It's like there's a trap.

[alanseago]

I am beginning to suspect that some of the above posters would fail the test.

[Deleted]

ooh that reminds me.. there was another bit of the test, where there was a print of an advert for a flat to let. the advert had all the relevent information, location, price etc.. and included the following information: 'no pets allowed'
one of the qwuestions asked: what are you not allowed in the flat?
a> children
b>cats
c>chairs
d>televisions
someone in the group qwueried this, as they said the advert didnt say any of these were not allowed. someone else pointed out the advert said 'no pets allowed' to which the first person said 'yes, it says no pets, but it doesnt say no cats.' the second person said 'yes, but cats are pets.' 'oh, right, yeah, i suppose so.' said the first person.

[luc]

This sounds similar to my experiences at the job centre. I heard a great conversation that went something like:

;D - Unemployed person
- Job centre employee

;D - So have you found me any work? *snigger*
- Yup.
;D - ?!
- It's at a warehouse, you start at 10am on Monday. It's at <someplace>
;D - I can't fawking do that.
- Sir, may I ask why not?
;D - It's well fucking early innit.
- 10am is not early by any stretch of the imagination.
;D - Nah mate it's well fucking early. I'd have to get up at like 9am to get the bus.
- 9am is not early sir.
;D - It wouldn't fucking matter anyway cos I can't afford the bus. I am like well fucking broke.
- You should use your unemployment benefit to pay for the bus.
;D - Nah I can't fucking do that.
- Do you have a bike?
;D - Werl... yeah.
- Then I suggest you ride it. To the place of work.
;D - Nah facking way I could never get up that facking early.
- Sir. Are you saying you are turning down an offer of work because it's "too early"?
;D - I guess I am you twat.
-Well I suggest you get on your fucking bike and fucking ride it to fucking work because next time you are in here, we are cutting off your fucking benefits.
;D - ?

I always wonder whether the guy could be seen of a crisp Monday morning, pedalling to work furiously.

[trubble]

;D

I always wonder whether the guy could be seen of a crisp Monday morning, pedalling to work furiously.

It doesn't sound likely, luc.

[trubble]

I understand the violence and screaming on these shows. Canvassing on the street for elections or petitions to reopen free playgroups etc means you meet some of the J Kyle fraternity and I've met some I could easily punch.

Especially ones who say 'I don't vote'/'I don't care' or 'wha?' with a withering and mocking tone of voice and then tell their grubby buggied baby to stop moaning and shove the bottle of red lemonade in its mouth to shut it up.

[Weyland]

Apr 27, 2010 23:26:12 GMT luc said:

This sounds similar to my experiences at the job centre. I heard a great conversation that went something like:

Nothing like my experiences at Job Centre Plus when I returned to Britain. What you describe is presumably how it should work, but I've never seen any evidence of that at either of the JCPluses I've used.

1. Signed on every week.
2. Applied for about 300 jobs, hardly any of which were listed at JCPlus.
3. Got a handful of replies, and one (1) interview. Too old. (Thirty years IT experience with major multinationals.)
4. Never ever got any help whatsoever from JCPlus. My "advisor" could barely use their IT system. Or stay awake at times.
5. I could've said I'd applied for a million jobs. Nobody ever even asked me what the jobs were. They just ticked a box.
6. I was never ever offered training for some other skill.
7. When I asked for training possibilities as advertised on the wall you'd think I'd asked for the Kohinoor Diamond.
8. Eventually they said there was nothing -- nothing -- except a fork-lift truck course. There was plenty of flt work on offer at the time. So I signed up.
9. At the course they asked everybody me why they'd signed up. I told them the above -- nothing else on offer. They sent me home on the grounds of motivation.
10. Gave up trying to get travel expenses to the course venue (quite a long way away) as promised. Not worth the repetitive hassle.
11. Got a minimum-wage job without any JCPlus involvement.

At no point did I ever get any benefits whatsoever, by the way.

Not that I'm bitter.

[motorist]

When the missus moved in with me in England:

JCPlus were as useful as an inedible chocolate teapot
Many of the jobs on their database were out of date
Many other jobs didn't get entered onto their database before the application end date
Any training they offered, required that you did the week's "Jobseeker" course which was fucking shit. If you went to another branch to ask the same, they would want you to do THEIR version of this course
In the end, she signed off because they were fucking crap and she got no benefits anyway

[motorist]

Apr 28, 2010 6:58:42 GMT trubble said:

I understand the violence and screaming on these shows.

Admit it, you want to join in, dontcha? ;D

[Patrick]

The only thing that seems to have changed about the Job Centres is the carpet and soft furnishings. Before they existed, I remember our unemployment office having brown concrete floors, metal park benches bolted to the floors and you spoke to someone through one of those little round windows with slats in that British Rail used to have.

[everso]

I never watch Jeremy Kyle but I did watch this clip and found it most entertaining. The woman in the New York velour outfit I'm fairly sure I've seen in Chelmsford (if not her, then someone similar). What absolute utter morons, thick as the proverbial short planks. There really is no excuse for their kind of stupidity. Absolute dregs of society, no less.