Post by Patrick on Nov 3, 2010 13:35:57 GMT
.......From The Grauniad.
When it comes to high-octane action films set on public transport, the train is most definitely an under-represented minority. Planes have Die Hard 2, Passenger 57, Red Eye and Executive Decision. Boats have Titanic. Even buses have got Speed, and buses are rubbish. But trains? Well, there's Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, but that barely even counts as a film.
Luckily, having dabbled in the area with his remake of The Taking of Pelham 123, Tony Scott has decided to focus all his energy on putting this injustice right. His imminent Denzel Washington-fronted Unstoppable is all set to make action films about trains fashionable again. But before Unstoppable is released, let's take a look at its trailer to see what the film is actually about. And remember, Unstoppable is based on a true story, so all of this definitely happened...
1) This is Chris Pine. It's his first day working for the railway company with Denzel Washington, so he's saying goodbye to his wife Emotional Motivation and his photogenic young son Lazy Scriptwriting Device, even though he'll see both of them again soon. Or will he?
2) Maybe not. You see, there's a runaway train on the loose, and it's heading straight towards some sort of built-up area. To prove just how runaway it is, the train smashes through a trailer that's been carelessly left on the line.
3) And then it smashes through a shed that some idiot has decided to build right on top of the tracks, which makes no sense whatsoever from a planning perspective. But worse still, as well as heading straight for the built-up area, the train is also heading straight for Chris Pine's train.
4) And worse still, the train is carrying eight loads of frixton, which is apparently a dangerous chemical that's prone to exploding or killing everyone or whatever. It's hard to see how this situation could get any worse, isn't it?
5) But, oh no! As well as heading straight for the built-up area, and heading straight for Chris Pine's train, the runaway train is also heading straight for a third target – a train full of 150 adorable schoolchildren. Actually, you know what? I don't care about any of this. I don't care about Chris Pine or his agency-bought family. I don't care about the fictional built-up area. I don't care even about the schoolchildren or the chemicals or the sheds. If you ask me, I don't think that Unstoppable has introduced enough jeopardy yet.
6) But what's this? OH NO! Now there's a horse on the line as well! A beautiful horse! This is a tragedy! What'll happen to the beautiful horse? Will the owner remove it from danger? Will it be scared by all the noise and lights of the oncoming train and simply canter to safety? Probably not! This is a DISASTER! What can possibly be done to stop the needless destruction of this beautiful horse?
7) Hey, maybe a man could shoot a machine gun at the train as it rattles past, presumably in the blind hope that one of the bullets will hit the off button and bring it to a safe halt, even though firing a machine gun at a train packed with exploding chemicals seems like a stupendously bad idea. Anyone? No?
8) Fine. This means it's up to brave Denzel Washington to get to the train, risk his life by running along the top of it, and manually avert the catastrophe by himself. Can he do it?
9) Doesn't look like it, no. Otherwise I suppose the film would be called Stoppable instead of Unstoppable, and who'd watch a film called Stoppable? I mean really.
Where's Leslie Neilson when you need him! ;D
When it comes to high-octane action films set on public transport, the train is most definitely an under-represented minority. Planes have Die Hard 2, Passenger 57, Red Eye and Executive Decision. Boats have Titanic. Even buses have got Speed, and buses are rubbish. But trains? Well, there's Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, but that barely even counts as a film.
Luckily, having dabbled in the area with his remake of The Taking of Pelham 123, Tony Scott has decided to focus all his energy on putting this injustice right. His imminent Denzel Washington-fronted Unstoppable is all set to make action films about trains fashionable again. But before Unstoppable is released, let's take a look at its trailer to see what the film is actually about. And remember, Unstoppable is based on a true story, so all of this definitely happened...
1) This is Chris Pine. It's his first day working for the railway company with Denzel Washington, so he's saying goodbye to his wife Emotional Motivation and his photogenic young son Lazy Scriptwriting Device, even though he'll see both of them again soon. Or will he?
2) Maybe not. You see, there's a runaway train on the loose, and it's heading straight towards some sort of built-up area. To prove just how runaway it is, the train smashes through a trailer that's been carelessly left on the line.
3) And then it smashes through a shed that some idiot has decided to build right on top of the tracks, which makes no sense whatsoever from a planning perspective. But worse still, as well as heading straight for the built-up area, the train is also heading straight for Chris Pine's train.
4) And worse still, the train is carrying eight loads of frixton, which is apparently a dangerous chemical that's prone to exploding or killing everyone or whatever. It's hard to see how this situation could get any worse, isn't it?
5) But, oh no! As well as heading straight for the built-up area, and heading straight for Chris Pine's train, the runaway train is also heading straight for a third target – a train full of 150 adorable schoolchildren. Actually, you know what? I don't care about any of this. I don't care about Chris Pine or his agency-bought family. I don't care about the fictional built-up area. I don't care even about the schoolchildren or the chemicals or the sheds. If you ask me, I don't think that Unstoppable has introduced enough jeopardy yet.
6) But what's this? OH NO! Now there's a horse on the line as well! A beautiful horse! This is a tragedy! What'll happen to the beautiful horse? Will the owner remove it from danger? Will it be scared by all the noise and lights of the oncoming train and simply canter to safety? Probably not! This is a DISASTER! What can possibly be done to stop the needless destruction of this beautiful horse?
7) Hey, maybe a man could shoot a machine gun at the train as it rattles past, presumably in the blind hope that one of the bullets will hit the off button and bring it to a safe halt, even though firing a machine gun at a train packed with exploding chemicals seems like a stupendously bad idea. Anyone? No?
8) Fine. This means it's up to brave Denzel Washington to get to the train, risk his life by running along the top of it, and manually avert the catastrophe by himself. Can he do it?
9) Doesn't look like it, no. Otherwise I suppose the film would be called Stoppable instead of Unstoppable, and who'd watch a film called Stoppable? I mean really.
Where's Leslie Neilson when you need him! ;D
