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Post by sesley on Mar 20, 2011 19:48:09 GMT
A man walks into a library and asks the young lady assistant, "Do you have the new book out for men with short penises? She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." "That's the one, I'll take a copy."
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Post by aubrey on Mar 20, 2011 22:05:48 GMT
Sesley!!!
OK.
I've just started listening to The Grateful Dead, and quite enjoying them as well: but I did like this joke:
What did the Deadhead say when the dope ran out?
"Who's that fucking awful group?"
Ok. Another one (from J Mortimer's autobiography).
A teacher at a public school goes into one of the studies and finds a boy there, playing with himself.
"My Boy!" he says, "You ought to be saving that for your marriage!"
"Oh, don't worry, Sir - I've already got 4 jars full."
(I giggled about that in the bath the other night for a full 5 minutes. Yes, I know.)
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Post by everso on Mar 21, 2011 19:42:10 GMT
Sesley!!! OK. I've just started listening to The Grateful Dead, and quite enjoying them as well: but I did like this joke: What did the Deadhead say when the dope ran out? "Who's that fucking awful group?" Ok. Another one (from J Mortimer's autobiography). A teacher at a public school goes into one of the studies and finds a boy there, playing with himself. "My Boy!" he says, "You ought to be saving that for your marriage!" "Oh, don't worry, Sir - I've already got 4 jars full."(I giggled about that in the bath the other night for a full 5 minutes. Yes, I know.)  |
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Post by everso on Mar 23, 2011 23:50:23 GMT
A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne..
The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me.... I am celebrating'
'This is a special day for me too, I am also
celebrating!' says the woman.
'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?'
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'
'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'
'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?'
'I used a different cock,' he replied.
The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'
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Post by swl on Mar 28, 2011 14:14:10 GMT
Thieves broke into the Bradford police headquarters car park in the early hours of this morning and stole satellite navigation systems from all the squad cars.
Officers are searching for Leeds.
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Post by jean on Apr 1, 2011 9:51:15 GMT
That announcement at the top of the page...about Proboards becoming Happyboards...an April Fool I assume.
But I can't click on any links to make certain, because if I did I'd have been caught out!
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Post by riotgrrl on Apr 1, 2011 14:03:49 GMT
That announcement at the top of the page...about Proboards becoming Happyboards...an April Fool I assume. But I can't click on any links to make certain, because if I did I'd have been caught out! I clicked on the links. If it is meant to bea joke I can't see the humour. Nah, I think they're just changing the name from Proboards to Happyboards and that's it. |
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Post by jean on Apr 1, 2011 14:24:24 GMT
You didn't click on all of them, Riot. Not this one: www.proboards.com/april_fools2011Though as it's now long past midday, and the 'announcement' is still there, I can quote what we used to say when I was at primary school: April Noddy's been and gone,
You're the fool for thinking on! |
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Post by jean on Apr 1, 2011 14:39:24 GMT
But here's one of the best April Fool jokes ever:
(I'll see if I can find the Guardian San Seriffe one somewhere.)
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Post by jean on Apr 1, 2011 14:45:12 GMT
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Post by jean on Apr 1, 2011 14:52:33 GMT
But here's a clearer map of the place:  |
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Post by Weyland on Apr 1, 2011 15:11:30 GMT
You didn't click on all of them, Riot. Not this one: www.proboards.com/april_fools2011Though as it's now long past midday, and the 'announcement' is still there, I can quote what we used to say when I was at primary school: April Noddy's been and gone,
You're the fool for thinking on!After midday: April Fools Day's dead and gone,
You're the fool and I am none. |
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Post by riotgrrl on Apr 1, 2011 15:14:28 GMT
But even if people were momentarily fooled (perhaps they were not familiar with printer vocabulary?), why didn't they just look at their atlas/globe and realise that no such place existed?
That's a POINTLESS April Fool. What's the point in that?
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Post by riotgrrl on Apr 1, 2011 15:15:26 GMT
You didn't click on all of them, Riot. Not this one: www.proboards.com/april_fools2011Though as it's now long past midday, and the 'announcement' is still there, I can quote what we used to say when I was at primary school: April Noddy's been and gone,
You're the fool for thinking on!Oh you're right, I missed that one. But again, it's pointless and not funny. We're changing from Proboards to Happyboards. What's funny? |
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Post by jean on Apr 1, 2011 16:02:20 GMT
But even if people were momentarily fooled (perhaps they were not familiar with printer vocabulary?), why didn't they just look at their atlas/globe and realise that no such place existed? They didn't, though. Remember it was a long time ago (1977 to be exact) when it was the height of adventure just to get as far as Benidorm. It was revisited in 1999 |
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Post by jean on Apr 1, 2011 16:06:15 GMT
But again, it's pointless and not funny. The point is to fool you. And what is funny is the fact that you were fooled. If the set-up is too funny in itself, it'll be a good joke maybe, but it won't work as a hoax, because you'll spot it too easily. |
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Post by Weyland on Apr 1, 2011 16:31:55 GMT
Remember it was a long time ago (1977 to be exact) when it was the height of adventure just to get as far as Benidorm. If you're talking about the Dimbleby Spaghetti thing, it was 19 57. Hardly anybody had heard of pasta, never mind Benidorm. |
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Post by Weyland on Apr 1, 2011 16:42:01 GMT
But again, it's pointless and not funny. The point is to fool you. And what is funny is the fact that you were fooled. If the set-up is too funny in itself, it'll be a good joke maybe, but it won't work as a hoax, because you'll spot it too easily. I was fooled by i today. Bought it to read while lunching at Wetherspoons in Oswestry. (Hitting the highspots again.) They had an item about Portugal selling Cristiano Ronaldo* to Spain — with a change of nationality — for 160m to help with their deficit. I was believing it until near the end, when they said that Cameron had made a counter-offer of 200m. Excellent newspaper for 20p, by the way. ___________ * A footballer of some note. |
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Post by jean on Apr 1, 2011 16:42:36 GMT
If you're talking about the Dimbleby Spaghetti thing, it was 19 57. No, I'm talking about San Seriffe, which was in 1977. The spaghetti trees were indeed in 1957. I posted links to both. |
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Post by Weyland on Apr 1, 2011 17:00:34 GMT
If you're talking about the Dimbleby Spaghetti thing, it was 19 57. No, I'm talking about San Seriffe, which was in 1977. The spaghetti trees were indeed in 1957. I posted links to both.My bad. I got the San Serriffe one immediately at the time. I already knew more about fonts then than is dreamed of in most philosophies. IBM makes extensive use of a font called Sonoran Sans Serif. There's also Sonoran Serif. IBM has a big development facility on the edge of the Sonora Desert. [/ramble] |
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