chris & the giant peach
Lovely & Happy!
I spy with my little eye something beginning with....?[N4:#####]
Posts: 175
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Post by chris & the giant peach on Apr 14, 2012 1:44:15 GMT
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Post by housesparrow on Apr 14, 2012 6:51:48 GMT
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chris & the giant peach
Lovely & Happy!
I spy with my little eye something beginning with....?[N4:#####]
Posts: 175
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Post by chris & the giant peach on Apr 14, 2012 8:51:05 GMT
Good grief, I didn't know the Archers board still existed.  If someone belts you in the face once, you could possibly forgive, perhaps. But if they did it a second time surely that would be curtains. There are abused males too of course. I certainly wouldn't tolerate violence. |
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Post by Weyland on Apr 14, 2012 9:34:48 GMT
Good grief, I didn't know the Archers board still existed. If someone belts you in the face once, you could possibly forgive, perhaps. But if they did it a second time surely that would be curtains. There are abused males too of course. I certainly wouldn't tolerate violence. I was abused once and, strangely enough, it was on the Archers board, circa 2002 or 3. The memory doesn't fade. It was one of these crossed with this. Sparra has never come up with a convincing alibi. |
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chris & the giant peach
Lovely & Happy!
I spy with my little eye something beginning with....?[N4:#####]
Posts: 175
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Post by chris & the giant peach on Apr 14, 2012 10:22:33 GMT
I've been trying to work this out. How many times I've been hit as an adult. I've counted about five times in total. A couple of those were pub fracases (is there such a word?)...one time a Scotsman took great offence at something I said, but can';t remember what it was...I probably asked if it was his round...got a bloody nose in that one. A girlfriend once attacked me uncontrollably...again can't remember what for...we had a row over something...Mum once went at me with a rolling pin...I was bout 21. I was also punched in the street in Nottingham by some random thug. It works out that I'm hit about once every five years....so anytime now...  |
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Post by housesparrow on Apr 14, 2012 17:21:09 GMT
Neither will I, that long ago.
It might have been me, but have you never considered the power of the Cyber Sisters? Could it have crossed your mind for one instance that maybe I had no option, that I was one of the oppressed?
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Post by jean on Apr 14, 2012 18:13:21 GMT
I see some names there from the old WH board! I thought the examples from literature that persuade women they can tame violent men were interesting...Jane and Mr Rochester... I'd hesitate to call a woman who fell for that arrogant. |
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Post by housesparrow on Apr 14, 2012 18:17:48 GMT
Well, someone ( a counsellor actually!) called me arrogant for daring to suggest I might have a good influence over someone's life. I didn't like her for it, but it made me think.....
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Post by aubrey on Apr 14, 2012 19:19:21 GMT
Surely anyone can have a good influence over someone's life. And a bad one. It's not arrogant to think that, is it?
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Post by housesparrow on Apr 14, 2012 20:18:20 GMT
Yes, people can influence other people. But to think that you can change someone "to the good" when others have failed does smack of (at best) naivety.
And yes, I've been naive.
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Post by bonbonlarue on Apr 15, 2012 8:32:25 GMT
It's not a black & white issue. There are financial issues, children, social pressures.
When I attempted to leave I was told by the local council that they couldn't house me as my name was on the mortgage therefore not homeless. I was told to make HIM leave.
But that would have ended up in a hospital visit at least.
My Father told me that I had made my bed etc...and no one believed me any way because he was such a nice chap.
..oh...and of course it MUST have been something I'd done...
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Post by housesparrow on Apr 15, 2012 11:14:29 GMT
Getting an injunction is fraught with dangers; it doesn't take much imagine to realise that! If you can't afford to move out for a few days while the whole thing goes through it must be impossible : even though the initial application is ex-parte, it has to be served. And you have to trust your local police to arrive promptly when and if the guy returns to the house. I wouldn't.
The "must be something you have done" attitude is depressing, and I gather not uncommon.
But the blinded woman seems to give none of those reasons for not leaving. She describes that someone in The Bull calls "the Nancy syndrome":
(So Long as He Needs Me)
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Post by bonbonlarue on Apr 15, 2012 11:26:25 GMT
It can't be defined because each relationship is different. I'll bet the very last thing she though he would ever do would be that.
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Post by Alpha Hooligan on Apr 15, 2012 23:03:00 GMT
I've been trying to work this out. How many times I've been hit as an adult. I've counted about five times in total. A couple of those were pub fracases (is there such a word?)...one time a Scotsman took great offence at something I said, but can';t remember what it was...I probably asked if it was his round...got a bloody nose in that one. A girlfriend once attacked me uncontrollably...again can't remember what for...we had a row over something...Mum once went at me with a rolling pin...I was bout 21. I was also punched in the street in Nottingham by some random thug. It works out that I'm hit about once every five years....so anytime now... Sort of like how the Earth is overdue to be hit by a global killer type asteroid.  As for women who stick with violent men, sorry, but some do seem to be drawn to total twats. My mum had a friend when I was a young lad, she got the shit kicked out of her for years...what sort of bloke did she shack up with once she escaped the relationship you ask? Yes, another ape who used to beat her around and put her in hospital every few months...and after him...another thug. Never had any sympathy for her, she was stupid and put her kids through Hell by being stupid. It's quite hard to have sympathy when certain women tend to gravitate towards their "drunken bad boy" types and end up getiing whacked about all the time...what do they expect? Women who have one off bad relationships I can feel sorry for, but in my own limited experience, these women seem to be serial victims who are always shacking up with nob heads. AH |
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Post by housesparrow on Apr 16, 2012 16:07:47 GMT
It is indeed the children one feels sorry for.
The kind of woman who has serial abusers is stereotyped as having low self-esteem. She probably thinks she needs a man around and looks a bit desperate, so is bound to be an easy target.
Either that or she is just as violent and starts the arguments.
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Post by Patrick on Apr 17, 2012 23:58:56 GMT
Sometimes you stay because you're caught "Rabbit in the headlights-like" - thinking "This will get better."
......and it doesn't.
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Post by housesparrow on Apr 18, 2012 5:53:07 GMT
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