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Post by housesparrow on Mar 7, 2009 6:56:25 GMT
Genesis Chapter 7
And the LORD said unto Noah, Come thou and all thy house into the ark; for thee hath I seen righteous before me in this generation. Of every clean beast thou shalt taketh to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that art not clean by two, the male and his female. Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.
If I were Noah I might hath been tempted to just innocently forget about one or two species - woodworm for example.
What doth thou wish Noah had left out?
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Post by swl on Mar 7, 2009 9:43:03 GMT
Muslims and bigots.
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Post by motorist on Mar 7, 2009 9:50:16 GMT
Humans and sausage dogs (stoopid looking things)
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Post by riotgrrl on Mar 7, 2009 10:36:58 GMT
Genesis Chapter 7 And the LORD said unto Noah, Come thou and all thy house into the ark; for thee hath I seen righteous before me in this generation. Of every clean beast thou shalt taketh to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that art not clean by two, the male and his female. Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth. If I were Noah I might hath been tempted to just innocently forget about one or two species - woodworm for example. What doth thou wish Noah had left out? They wee black beetle things you get scurrying around old houses with wooden floors. And also moths, as my house is riddles with them and I'm always risking our family health by spreading pesticides around the house. Also, why did Noah take on board whoever it was who bred the class of Message-Boarder known as mad-old-git-on-JSG? We could probably manage without them also.
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Post by Patrick on Mar 7, 2009 10:58:26 GMT
Good one!
Simple answer really. OTTOMH: Wasps.
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Post by swl on Mar 7, 2009 11:00:53 GMT
I agree totally. Wasps are the skinheads of the insect world.
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Post by Patrick on Mar 7, 2009 11:01:45 GMT
And also moths, as mine house is riddles with them and I'm always risking our family health by spreading pesticides around the house. Have you checked for bodies under the floorboards? Have you seen you neighbours recently? Alan Bennett and neighbours apparently became invaded by moths as the legacy left by "The Lady in The Van" after she "left", according to the book.
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Post by Patrick on Mar 7, 2009 11:22:05 GMT
I've got another - Neighbours who insist on ruining every weekend with their latest DIY project.
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Post by housesparrow on Mar 7, 2009 14:49:48 GMT
hath thou checked for bodies under the floorboards? hath thou seen thou neighbours recently? Alan Bennett and neighbours apparently became invaded by moths as the legacy left by "The Lady in The Van" after she "left", according to the book. Bennett turned that into a play which was on the radio in the firmament recently. He invited this old bat to park her van in his front garden for three months and 15 years later she was still there, complaining about his music, using plastic bags which she then put (full) in his dustbin. They said she was mad Anyway, I like bats of all ages, so I'm blaming Noah for remembering the lice.
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Post by everso on Mar 7, 2009 17:16:51 GMT
hath thou checked for bodies under the floorboards? hath thou seen thou neighbours recently? Alan Bennett and neighbours apparently became invaded by moths as the legacy left by "The Lady in The Van" after she "left", according to the book. Bennett turned that into a play which was on the radio in the firmament recently. He invited this old bat to park her van in his front garden for three months and 15 years later she was still there, complaining about his music, using plastic bags which she then put (full) in his dustbin. They said she was mad Anyway, I liketh bats of all ages, so I'm blaming Noah for remembering the lice. Verily mosquitos are the most annoying and spiders are looked upon with dread in the Everso household.
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Post by motorist on Mar 7, 2009 17:20:51 GMT
Just for the record, I beest not responsible for mosquitoes. I hate the beggars as well (how did they survive on the ark with a 1-day lifespan by the way?)
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Post by trubble on Mar 7, 2009 17:53:29 GMT
Concensus appears to be that Noah spent far too much time gathering insects and far too little time gathering unicorns, dragons and golden geese, yes?
Well, just look at the numbers, they speak for themselves.
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Post by motorist on Mar 7, 2009 17:56:52 GMT
Maybe he took the unicorns on but the lions got 'em
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Post by trubble on Mar 7, 2009 18:21:08 GMT
He just didst not get enough of them, satan. Millions of species of insects and zero types of unicorns. Clearly he started gathering alphabetically, A is for Ant, and then ran out of time towards the end. It's a time management sin.
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Post by riotgrrl on Mar 7, 2009 19:29:28 GMT
He just didst not get enough of them, satan. Millions of species of insects and zero types of unicorns. Clearly he started gathering alphabetically, A is for Ant, and then ran out of time towards the end. It's a time management sin. That would explain the hordes of zebras marauding our cities.
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Post by trubble on Mar 7, 2009 19:33:08 GMT
He just didst not get enough of them, satan. Millions of species of insects and zero types of unicorns. Clearly he started gathering alphabetically, A is for Ant, and then ran out of time towards the end. It's a time management sin. That wouldst explain the hordes of zebras marauding our cities. How many zebras are in Glasgow. There are quite a few in Dublin. About 10-20 I'd guesstimate. They get everywhere!
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Post by trubble on Mar 7, 2009 19:34:14 GMT
I sometimes wonder if there was a third gender which Noah was bigoted against and whether he purposely left them off the list. And if there was a third gender, what would it be like?
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Post by gIant on Mar 7, 2009 20:34:47 GMT
Slugs. Nasty slimy blighters. Euch!!!
I am wholeheartedly in favour of the obliteration of wasps as well.
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Post by Patrick on Mar 7, 2009 22:46:53 GMT
That wouldst explain the hordes of zebras marauding our cities. How many zebras art in Glasgow. There art quite a few in Dublin. About 10-20 I'd guesstimate. They get everywhere! Shocking aren't they! I left two out for the dustman the other day - would he take them!? "More than my job's worth" he said!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2009 8:03:08 GMT
I see that my name has been taken in vain on this thread . I am being blamed for a lot of things I know nothing about.
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