Little Johhny

[swl]

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mummy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'


* * * * * * * * * * *


The maths teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said,
'Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Little Johnny quickly replied, BBC2, Channel Four, True Movies and the Cartoon Network!'


* * * * * * * * * * *


Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.'Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ?'


* * * * * * * * * * *


Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses,I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the postman wants to buy Mum .'


* * * * * * * * * * *

Any more Little Johnny jokes?

[trubble]

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mummy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'

hehe - line noted - will recycle when situation arises.

[Patrick]

Little Willie,
In bright sashes,
Fell into the fire,
And was burnt to ashes.
The air grew cold.
The room grew chilly
But no one dared
Poke Little Willie.

[Ben Becula]

It was little Johnny's first day in a new school, so his father looked up the teacher. He told her that little Johnny was a good kid but that he was an avid gambler. He warned her that little Johnny might win lunch money from the other kids if he was not watched closely.
The teacher did not seem disturbed, assured the father that she had handled many such problems and was very capable of taking care of little Johnny's urge to gamble.
Shortly after lunch, the father called the teacher and asked her how things were going.
"Oh, everything is going very well." She said. "I think I may have cured little Johnny of his gambling habit."
The father asked her what had happened.
"The little tyke absolutely insisted on betting me ten dollars that I had a mole on my rear." She said. "I finally agreed to the bet and took him to the teacher's lounge to show him that I had no mole."
"Damn!" The father said. "He bet me fifty dollars this morning that he would see the teacher's ass before the day was over."

[housesparrow]

Apr 13, 2009 17:22:41 GMT Patrick said:

Little Willie,
In bright sashes,
Fell into the fire,
And was burnt to ashes.
The air grew cold.
The room grew chilly
But no one dared
Poke Little Willie.

Little Willie, from his mirror
Licked the mercury right off;
Thinking, in his childish error,
It would cure the hooping-cough.

At the funeral Willie's mother
Brightly said to Mr Brown
"It was a chilly day for Willie
When the mercuty went down."


(But I thought this thread was about Little Johnny tales?)

[Patrick]

I couldn't resist! Wasn't Willie Unlucky!;D

Oh! Mother Dear!
What is that there!
That looks like strawberry jam?
Hush hush dear child
Tis only your Papa!
Run over, by a tram!