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Post by swl on Jan 22, 2009 0:34:27 GMT
Have you ever kicked the wall in your sleep, or almost poked your own eye out in the middle of the night?
Here's my story -
Many years ago, I lived in a cottage in the country near some woods. I used to love watching the bats swooping through the trees and around my garden at dusk. I always slept with the bedroom window open and could hear them fluttering about. One night I awoke suddenly with something cold and clammy at my neck. I absent-mindedly brushed it away with my hand but it settled back at my neck again. A little more awake, I tried to throw it away from my neck but, after a pause, it came right back again.
I lost it. I seriously freaked out. A bat was at my neck! I pushed it away again and leapt out of bed, throwing the quilt on the floor where I thought it had landed and ran out of the room yelling my head off. My dog, startled by the sound was barking furiously and trying to get in the bedroom and as I ran out I tripped over him. I put my arm out to break my fall but it just gave way under me and I broke my tooth on the fireplace. Meanwhile my dog was scurrying around the bedroom and I was yelling at him "catch the bat, catch the bat". He never did and that was the last night I slept with the window open.
Years later, now married, I woke again with a cold & clammy thing at my neck. My heart started pounding as I slowly reached to push it away... only to discover it was my own hand! I had fallen asleep on my side & given myself a dead arm. When my wife came to bed I had rolled over and my arm had flopped down with my hand at my neck. Of course, every time I pushed it away, it flopped right back.
So no, I never did have a vampire bat at my neck.
<sheepish>
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Post by Patrick on Jan 22, 2009 8:43:02 GMT
So! That's why we ever see you at night!  I woke up one morning to feel a heavy weight fall on my chest. I reached out and in my half asleepness I felt across and I could feel........ feathers!!! I sat up as if suffering an electric shock, only to have my arm fall off me and onto the bed (it was still attached) but it was so dead it didn't even feel like it had anything to do with me at all. I thought a pigeon had flown through the window. |
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Post by chrislord on Jan 22, 2009 15:49:53 GMT
Have you ever kicked the wall in your sleep, or almost poked your own eye out in the middle of the night? Here's my story - Many years ago, I lived in a cottage in the country near some woods. I used to love watching the bats swooping through the trees and around my garden at dusk. I always slept with the bedroom window open and could hear them fluttering about. One night I awoke suddenly with something cold and clammy at my neck. I absent-mindedly brushed it away with my hand but it settled back at my neck again. A little more awake, I tried to throw it away from my neck but, after a pause, it came right back again. I lost it. I seriously freaked out. A bat was at my neck! I pushed it away again and leapt out of bed, throwing the quilt on the floor where I thought it had landed and ran out of the room yelling my head off. My dog, startled by the sound was barking furiously and trying to get in the bedroom and as I ran out I tripped over him. I put my arm out to break my fall but it just gave way under me and I broke my tooth on the fireplace. Meanwhile my dog was scurrying around the bedroom and I was yelling at him "catch the bat, catch the bat". He never did and that was the last night I slept with the window open. Years later, now married, I woke again with a cold & clammy thing at my neck. My heart started pounding as I slowly reached to push it away... only to discover it was my own hand! I had fallen asleep on my side & given myself a dead arm. When my wife came to bed I had rolled over and my arm had flopped down with my hand at my neck. Of course, every time I pushed it away, it flopped right back. So no, I never did have a vampire bat at my neck. <sheepish> So that might explain the 'mystery lady' who sneaks into my room each night to make merry with my manhood. DAMN!! Yep. Push her away and she keeps on flopping right back down... DOUBLE DAMN!! |
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Post by everso on Jan 24, 2009 15:34:31 GMT
Years ago now, Mr. E. woke up one night with a dead arm. He picked it up with his other hand and threw it to one side and in the process hit himself on the nose with it, giving himself a bad nose bleed.
I slept through the whole thing.
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Post by everso on Jan 24, 2009 15:36:15 GMT
Have you ever kicked the wall in your sleep, or almost poked your own eye out in the middle of the night? Here's my story - Many years ago, I lived in a cottage in the country near some woods. I used to love watching the bats swooping through the trees and around my garden at dusk. I always slept with the bedroom window open and could hear them fluttering about. One night I awoke suddenly with something cold and clammy at my neck. I absent-mindedly brushed it away with my hand but it settled back at my neck again. A little more awake, I tried to throw it away from my neck but, after a pause, it came right back again. I lost it. I seriously freaked out. A bat was at my neck! I pushed it away again and leapt out of bed, throwing the quilt on the floor where I thought it had landed and ran out of the room yelling my head off. My dog, startled by the sound was barking furiously and trying to get in the bedroom and as I ran out I tripped over him. I put my arm out to break my fall but it just gave way under me and I broke my tooth on the fireplace. Meanwhile my dog was scurrying around the bedroom and I was yelling at him "catch the bat, catch the bat". He never did and that was the last night I slept with the window open. Years later, now married, I woke again with a cold & clammy thing at my neck. My heart started pounding as I slowly reached to push it away... only to discover it was my own hand! I had fallen asleep on my side & given myself a dead arm. When my wife came to bed I had rolled over and my arm had flopped down with my hand at my neck. Of course, every time I pushed it away, it flopped right back. So no, I never did have a vampire bat at my neck. <sheepish> A neighbour of mine left her bedroom window open one summer's night and a bat flew in the room. She's divorced but fortunately her son was at home and dealt with it. Man, I'd have died of fright. We once stayed in a little village on Dartmoor and Mr. E. delighted in taking me for a walk every evening after dinner, just to watch my face when the bats swooped. |
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Post by rjpageuk on Jan 24, 2009 16:16:27 GMT
Years ago now, Mr. E. woke up one night with a dead arm. He picked it up with his other hand and threw it to one side and in the process hit himself on the nose with it, giving himself a bad nose bleed.  |
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Post by swl on Jan 24, 2009 16:23:36 GMT
Like most young boys, I used to make model planes and suspend them from the ceiling. One night an English Electric Lightning decided to dive bomb my face. It split my lip and there was blood everywhere.
Another sleeping-type incident happened when I got a coach from Edinburgh to London. I managed to bag a double seat and curled up to have a kip. I woke up just as we were pulling into a service station for a break. As I tried to sit up I realised my face was stuck fast to the seat. I'd had a nosebleed as I'd slept and the blood had dried. I finally managed to peel my face off and made my way to the loos for a wash. The horrified looks I got from everyone on the way were classic. I must have looked like an RTA victim.
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Post by housesparrow on Jan 24, 2009 18:17:15 GMT
When we were young and in love* we used to sleep in the garden on hot days, watching the stars. We were not just young, but green, so dug a pong for wildlife in the back lawn.
We studied astonomy and decided to watch the August meteor shower in the back garden. We took blankets and pillows and waited and waited then - I woke up when something landed on my chest. I shrieked and Jack sat up.
He got a frog in his throat, full on.
* which, of course, we still are
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Post by everso on Jan 24, 2009 19:51:20 GMT
Like most young boys, I used to make model planes and suspend them from the ceiling. One night an English Electric Lightning decided to dive bomb my face. It split my lip and there was blood everywhere. Another sleeping-type incident happened when I got a coach from Edinburgh to London. I managed to bag a double seat and curled up to have a kip. I woke up just as we were pulling into a service station for a break. As I tried to sit up I realised my face was stuck fast to the seat. I'd had a nosebleed as I'd slept and the blood had dried. I finally managed to peel my face off and made my way to the loos for a wash. The horrified looks I got from everyone on the way were classic. I must have looked like an RTA victim. You must be my brother. |
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Post by swl on Jan 24, 2009 20:45:19 GMT
Like most young boys, I used to make model planes and suspend them from the ceiling. One night an English Electric Lightning decided to dive bomb my face. It split my lip and there was blood everywhere. Another sleeping-type incident happened when I got a coach from Edinburgh to London. I managed to bag a double seat and curled up to have a kip. I woke up just as we were pulling into a service station for a break. As I tried to sit up I realised my face was stuck fast to the seat. I'd had a nosebleed as I'd slept and the blood had dried. I finally managed to peel my face off and made my way to the loos for a wash. The horrified looks I got from everyone on the way were classic. I must have looked like an RTA victim. You must be my brother. Is Mr E a gas man? |
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Post by riotgrrl on Jan 25, 2009 0:06:48 GMT
When we were young and in love* we used to sleep in the garden on hot days, watching the stars. We were not just young, but green, so dug a pong for wildlife in the back lawn. We studied astonomy and decided to watch the August meteor shower in the back garden. We took blankets and pillows and waited and waited then - I woke up when something landed on my chest. I shrieked and Jack sat up. He got a frog in his throat, full on. * which, of course, we still are Housey . . what exactly did you build in your back garden again? (And if you owned the house, why the hell were you sleeping in the garden? YOU FREAKS!) |
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Post by riotgrrl on Jan 25, 2009 0:08:19 GMT
Like most young boys, I used to make model planes and suspend them from the ceiling. . Most young boys don't do that. You were a freak too. This MB is full of freaks. I don't know why I hang out here, I really don't. |
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Post by swl on Jan 25, 2009 0:40:14 GMT
Like most young boys, I used to make model planes and suspend them from the ceiling. . Most young boys don't do that. You were a freak too. This MB is full of freaks. I don't know why I hang out here, I really don't. You say that, with that avatar?  |
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Post by swl on Jan 25, 2009 0:43:31 GMT
PS - it's 12.43 and I can see-eee you ;D
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Post by riotgrrl on Jan 25, 2009 0:44:30 GMT
Most young boys don't do that. You were a freak too. This MB is full of freaks. I don't know why I hang out here, I really don't. You say that, with that avatar? How do you mean you can see me you freak? Are you standing outside my fucking window AGAIN??? My avatar is Kathleen Hannah. Show some respect. |
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Post by swl on Jan 25, 2009 0:45:16 GMT
Who?
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Post by riotgrrl on Jan 25, 2009 0:49:36 GMT
Google it yourself you lazy bastard. |
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Post by swl on Jan 25, 2009 0:51:45 GMT
Too many windows open, e-mail. news, sport, h2g2, here, GWD, Rob's chatroom.
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Post by riotgrrl on Jan 25, 2009 0:53:30 GMT
Are you trying to tempt me into the chatroom? Because I have nothing to say. Or do you know how to start the quiz? I'm beating you really a lot now, and Rob is equal with you. We played on a bit last night and the scores are cumulative. Riotgrrl, Number One. SWL & Rob - 2nd equal, some way behind.  |
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Post by swl on Jan 25, 2009 0:54:39 GMT
No, I don't know how to start the quiz, unless it's !trivia or something.
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